Unnecesareans
I saw a headline in a magazine at the hippie store checkout line about the high rate of unnecessary c-sections in the US. Of course this caught my eye. I only had a minute and didn’t buy the magazine, but the term “unnecesarean” got me interested.
I googled around and found the site that must have been mentioned in the aritcle. http://www.theunnecesarean.com/the-unnecesarean/
More and more, I think of a possible next child. Don’t get your panties in a bunch, I said it’s just an idea. 
But along with that idea comes of course the shadow of my traumatic birth story. Will that repeat? Can I deliver normally? I hope so. I don’t want to go through all the drama again. I want to go in and have a baby pop out maybe 5 hours later. That would be fine. And before I get pregnant again, I’m going to read that website front to back, back to front. SO MANY WOMEN with so many c-sections, and strongarmed into doing so. I didn’t feel strongarmed, but in retrospect, I do wonder what else could have been tried. Maybe I’ll stay home longer next time and labor longer at home. I certainly will want to know whether the baby is face up before going into labor, and not find out during labor.
Moms have submitted their birth stories to the site. Maybe I will, too. The first story there right now had a few lines that echo exactly what I feel: “And yes, I know that I’m extremely blessed and I should be thankful that I had healthy babies… but there’s this part of me that always feels cheated.” Exactly.
If there is to be a #2, I’ll hope to do it VBAC and go in more informed as to the position. I’ll try to keep walking longer instead of lying down, which I remember being the only position I could stand after a long time. But maybe I could have pushed further. I don’t know. We’ll have to see… This is all just hypothetical at the moment. We’ll have to get a sofa and carpet in the living room and unpack all the boxes first! 
